Balls and Boulders
by AvatarPipTook
Summary: When Toph is kidnapped, Aang and Sokka have to build a team of seven people to win a tournament, but this isn't any type of sport, it's street football. Silliness and random stuff. It's all good.
1. Toph, kidnapped?

**Yay, another fanfic. It won't be depressing like my other one. I was playing NFL Street and I was making an Avatar based team, so that's where I got this. I don't own Avatar. I don't own football or the copyrights to it.**

It was a normal day for the gang. They were taking a break by a river. Aang and Momo were playing, Katara and Sokka were arguing over something, and Toph was laughing at Sokka's stupidity.

"But you haven't put any meat in it."

"Because Aang won't eat the soup if I put meat in it. Cook some up and put it in yourself." Katara yelled at her brother.

"That's okay guys; I can find something to eat." Aang rolled over to his stomach to look at Sokka laughing at an angry Katara.

"See, put the fish in it." Sokka was happy, until Katara smacked him on the head with her newly made wooden spoon.

"I'm going to go blow some rocks up. Come on Twinkle Toes." Toph said.

"Don't be gone too long, the soup is almost done." Katara called out.

After ten minutes, Aang came running back. Katara and Sokka were already eating.

"What did you go, get Toph stuck and she can't get out?" Sokka said.

"No, she was kidnapped!" Aang yelled.

"What?" Katara asked, not seeing on how this was possible.

"Come on Aang, she can't really have been kidnapped. She's hiding, ready to pounce on me." Sokka said sarcastically.

"No, she was kidnapped." Aang said, a bit annoyed.

"Sokka, I think Aang's telling us the truth." Katara said, putting her bowl of soup in the ground. Momo came and happily finished it.

"But that's not possible, if anyone here was to get kidnapped, it would be Katara, because she somehow always does that." Sokka explained and continued with hand signals to help him, "Or Aang, who just does because he's the Avatar."

"And you don't get captured?" Katara asked. Aang was getting impatient with these two.

"I never get captured, unless you two do." Sokka said.

"Guys, can we talk about this later. Toph has been KIDNAPPED, if that means anything to you." Aang said.

They packed up their camp, and started to where Aang said Toph was taken. There was a man there in odd looking clothing.

"Um, hello?" Aang said.

"Are you the Avatar, because, man, you have some big problems." The man was darker skinned.

"Yeah, my friend was tak-"

"I know, and you have seven days to figure out how to play seven-man football and get a team together if you want your friend back."

"Football?" the three looked at each other.

"What? You don't know what football is? Fine, we're going to have a lesson. Missy, you can wait there." The man said.

"What! I'm not going to sit here and not listen to this." Katara screamed.

"Too bad. Now, we have some work to do." The man led Aang and Sokka to a building.

Katara sat outside, by the river.

"Now, the important thing about football is the basics." The man started

"Um question, what's your name?" Aang asked.

"I didn't give you my name? I'm XYZ." He said.

"That's a name. Were your parents crazy?" Sokka asked.

"It's like I'm teaching a bunch of cartoon characters, football. That's not my real name. That's what you are allowed to call me." XYZ said.

After an hour, a very confused Aang and a very happy Sokka came out.

"How was it?" Katara asked.

"Confusing. That game is even worse than trying to figure out what Sokka says in his sleep." Aang was still rubbing his head.

"Then it's good that he gave me a handbook." Sokka gave a look to Aang.

"What does this have to do with getting Toph?" Katara asked.

"We're supposed to get a team together and win a tournament to get her back." Sokka said.

"Let me see the handbook." Katara said.

She glanced through it, "I don't know why I wasn't allowed in there. This is sort of easy."

Aang frowned. Sokka looked at Appa, "We have to start looking for a team. Aang, take Appa and go some people. Katara and I are going to get Haru, since we're not far from him."

"Okay." Aang said.

They all took off to go find some players.

**  
**


	2. Two players and crazy Katara

**I only got on review but that's okay. I'm glad everyone liked To Keep Fighting. I hope you all like this one.**

Sokka walked while reading the book. He was trying to figure out how he was going to do this.

"Sokka, look out for the-"

"Ow, when did this tree get in the way?" Sokka asked from the ground.

"It just uprooted itself and walked into you. How do you think you ran into it?" Katara said.

"I don't know. All I know is that it wasn't there before." Sokka got up and brushed himself off.

They continued towards Haru's village. It was different looking, for there were no fire soldiers around, some new buildings.

"Should we go to his store or his house first?" Katara asked, not wanting to be rude.

"Does it matter? We have to ask him anyway." Sokka went into the store.

Haru was behind the counter, "Hey guys, what brings you here?"

"The fact that our friend has been kidnapped." Sokka said. Katara hadn't entered yet.

"Katara was kidnapped?"

"No, I was not kidnapped! Why does everyone say that I'd be the one to be kidnapped? In every story, I'm getting kidnapped, and I've only really been kidnapped once!" she was yelling as she entered.

"Katara, I don't want to hear your ranting." Sokka said.

"Sorry. Sokka didn't say who was taken. What did you need me to do?" Haru was red from his comment.

"I need a running back for my team. It's a new sport, and we have to win it to get her back." Sokka said.

"I'm coming. I don't want to stay here anymore. I'm going crazy!" Haru spat out quickly.

"Alright," Sokka said, kind of frightened.

They went back to their meeting place. Sokka went through everything and Haru was confused from the rules. Katara sat there, grinned, for she could understand all the rules.**  
**Aang came back.

"Who did you find Aang?" Sokka asked.

"Someone to be our safety. JET!" Aang said.

"You got Jet? Why'd you choose him?" Sokka asked.

Katara was on her back, laughing hard.

"Because he wanted to help." Aang said.

"What's the problem with helping? I'm not going to blow you all up while we're playing." Jet said, with his thing of grass in his mouth.

"But he's, you're Jet." Sokka complained and Aang and Jet gave him the puppy face, "That's a bit disturbing, Jet. Fine, you can play. No funny stuff."

"Who should we get now?" Aang asked.

"Me." Katara said, knowing that she was going to be ignored.

"We should ask Bumi." Sokka said.

"There are always those wrestlers from the Earth Rumble." Haru said.

Sokka and Aang looked at Haru, like he was crazy.

"What?" Haru asked.


	3. Omashu

**Sorry about taking so long. I'm having a hard time trying to think of what to write about.**

The five got on Appa, and headed towards Omashu. Aang knew that if he and his friends entered, they have problem, so Haru and Jet were given the chance to convince Bumi to join on their team.

"I don't know, this seems too dangerous sending Haru and Jet in." Katara said.

They were still in the air over the desert.

"Are you afraid of them getting captured?" Sokka asked.

"No, but you remembered when we first meet Bumi? We had rock candy growing us."

"Rock candy? How'd he do that?" Haru asked.

"Is someone a bit chicken? Bock, bock." Jet mocked.

"Stop it. We need someone strong enough to stop someone from hitting the passer. Bumi would do just fine. Katara, you can go in and help them. Aang and I will wait outside of the city with Appa." Sokka said.

"Let's just hope that Bumi isn't with the Fire Nation. Last time I saw him, he talked about the different Gin, and earthbended himself back to the Fire Temple." Aang said.

"That's nice. We have to work extra hard to find him, when I can just play." Katara said.

They stopped outside of Omashu, and the three that were going, started for the sewers. Katara waterbended the liquid up the tunnels, and away from them.

"This will be fun. Ah, it stinks in here. Is this the best way into the city?" Jet asked.

"Unless you want the whole army on us, yes this is the best way." Katara said.

"That other one sounds better." Haru joked.

"We don't like those firebenders." Jet helped Haru harass Katara.

"Well, then you two can try it." Katara said, starting up the tunnel.

"Oh, you're a bit dirty, aren't you?" Jet said. Haru was cracking up behind him.

Some sewage came out from the tunnel.

"Ew, thanks." Jet yelled in the tunnel. Both boys soon followed.

They continued through the dark tunnel, until they reached the streets. The sun was out, and it was getting hotter from it being closer to noon. The city was alive with markets and entertainers. All three of them looked at the stands. Katara wanted to get more food supplies, but she didn't have the money.

"Where should we look, without bringing trouble on us?" Jet asked, being serious.

"Somewhere by that building. That's where we saw him last." Katara said, pointing out the being built Fire Temple."

"Then we should hurry. I don't like rock candy." Haru said.

They walked passed all the markets, until they got into the more housing neighborhoods. No one was around, so they started to run. It didn't take long to get where they needed to be.

"How are we supposed to get him down?" Haru asked.

"I remember there being some pulleys. Maybe we can climb up there, and get him down." Katara said, looking up.

They all had to shade their eyes from the sun.

"I can't see anything." Jet said.

"He's right there, follow me." Katara said, climbing the beams.

They started to climb. Jet got up quicker, and helped the other two up. Katara walked over to where she thought Bumi was, and he was there singing.

"Um, King Bumi, we've come to get you out, and ask you about" Katara started to say.

"Yes, I'll join."

"I never even finished." Katara said, unsure of her friend's choice.

"You don't have to. I've known." Bumi laughed crazily, "And I'll just break out now."

The three of them were all stunned, when he just freed himself.

"Let's go." Bumi laughed still.

"I don't know. I still can't figure this out." Aang and Sokka were talking about plays.

They had to make up their own and hope that they'll work.

"You got him, that great." Aang said, jumping up.

"Yes. Who's next on your list?" Katara asked.

"We want to ask Master Pakku, but I'm not sure if he'll play." Sokka said.

"I'm sure he won't." Katara said, dryly.

"How about the Earth Rumble guys? Some of them might join." Bumi said.

"That's what I said." Haru complained.

"Which one? They're all crazy." Aang said.

"No Aang, I'm crazy. I'm sure the Boulder would be a good choice." Bumi laughed.

"Fine, we'll ask him." Sokka said.

"I can play guys. I understand the rules and all." Katara said, raising her hand.

"Then who should we look for?" Sokka said, ignoring a jumping Katara.

"Let's just get the Boulder first." Aang said, unexcited.

They all agreed, except Katara, and took off towards the arena on Appa.


	4. Rocks and fire

Waiting outside a room, Katara was listening to Sokka and everyone else try and convince the Boulder to join them. She was bored, and even had tried to whistle. That didn't last long, for she couldn't whistle.

"The Boulder does not want to play any stupid games that free a small cheater. The Boulder would rather bury his head in the ground." The wrestler said.

Sokka frowned, like most of the others.

"You can pound people into the ground." Aang said.

"No way. The Boulder does not want to help the puny little bald kid."

"Fine, but this is your chance to be great at a sport that pounds people in the ground. We'll be hitting people harder than you would here." Jet said.

"Let the Boulder ponder this. Fine the Boulder has pondered and decided to help your team."

"Thank goodness." Katara said coming in.

"GET OUT!" the guys all yelled.

"Fine." She stormed out.

The team moved out, and they needed one more person. Sokka had that person in mind, but he didn't want to ask that person. He didn't want Katara healing any burns.

"I think we should as Zuko." Aang said, "We need someone quick like him."

"Alright." Everyone said, but Katara.

"Anyone want to take a guess on where he is?" Sokka asked.

"Why don't we hunt him down, like he did to us?" Katara said, sarcastically.

"No, that's not a good idea." Sokka was thinking, "I got it, why don't we seek him like he did us, threaten people and all?"

"That's almost what I said." Katara yelled.

"Shut up little screaming girl. No one wants to hear you." The Boulder said.

"Why don't I just shoot myself then?" Katara said, steaming from the ears.

"Whatever floats your boat." Sokka said, reading his book on football.

"Urgh, you are a complete idiot. Where do you keep getting all those books?" Katara spoke.

"I just get them randomly." Sokka said, not looking up.

They couldn't ride Appa, so they walked. Katara walked behind everyone, and was mumbling curses at everyone. She continued glaring at them as well, even as they entered a large village. It seemed like a happy town. Folks were about, shopping, selling, and a fight was going on. The group walked over, and Zuko was arguing with someone. A crowd was around them.

"We found him fast." Aang said.

"Yeah, how does that work?" Haru asked.

Everyone didn't know, maybe except Bumi. He was smirking like normally.

Zuko was winning, until someone started to bend earth. Zuko started to firebend, when Aang interrupted by blasting air at Zuko's opponent. The man flew backwards, and Zuko followed the running group of ready-to-learn-football players.

"What is this about?" Zuko asked, after everyone stopped.

"Why do you ask?" Katara spoke first.

"We're starting a team to play a sport. We need to rescue Toph." Aang said.

"That's the blind girl's name? Why didn't the Boulder know that?" the Boulder asked.

No one answered him.

"And you need me, right." Zuko said.

"Yep." Sokka said.

"Not really." Katara said.

"Why did your earthbending teacher get kidnapped instead of you?" the Boulder asked, using proper language.

"Why would anyone capture her?" Zuko asked.

"They said that I would be the one to get kidnapped. Would you kidnap me again?" Katara asked.

"No, you're not worth the time and effort." Zuko said, not impressed with the group.

Katara snorted, and Sokka walked over to Zuko to explain why they needed him. Zuko agreed to help, if they would all help get Iroh from jail.

Aang said he would and everyone decided to make a plan.

**Yeah, so that one was random, and not written well. I hope it funny though.**


	5. Save me

**I don't own anyone but XYZ, the fairies, and the Crazy Avatar Fans. I don't own them, so don't kill, maim, or sue me.**

Two Fire Nation guards were standing outside of their camp, chatting. It wasn't over killing anyone, but over home and fun time they have had. They were laughing, until they were pushed over, and beaten. Jet stood up, and signaled Haru and Sokka to come out from the brush.

"That was easy." Haru said.

"Yeah, a bit too easy. I wonder if some- ah!" Jet cried out.

The trio were taken captive.

"You morons, you weren't supposed to talk." Aang came out from the trees.

They were practicing on how they were going to get Iroh out. Bumi could be heard cracking up. The two Fire Nation soldiers took of their helmets. They were just two earthbenders helping out.

"So why is it that I have to play Iroh? Why can't Zuko, since he's Iroh's nephew?" Katara said from inside a haystack. It was the pretend cage.

"Because you're not coming." Zuko said.

"You all are the most sexist-"

"Shut up hair loopy girl. The Boulder does not want to hear whiners."

Aang frowned. Katara wasn't being treated fairly, and he just realized that.

"Sorry Katara, you can be with me, and watch overhead incase of anything goes wrong." He tried to smile.

"Thanks Aang." Katara glared at everyone else.

"Why is she here again?" Zuko said.

"Because she's my little sister." Sokka said.

"Aren't you lucky." Zuko said, "I'm happy that my little sister isn't here."

"But you don't have a sister. You live with a little devil that says she's your sister." Jet smiled and said.

Everyone was laughing, but Katara.

"Anyways, start again." Bumi said about the training.

They were working on being a team one forgetting along, and two, they wanted Iroh out. They continued until darkness came.

Iroh was sleeping when someone woke him up.

"Come on Uncle, we're leaving."

"But I was just getting comfortable, but if that means I'm getting out."

"Just get up and come with me." Zuko sighed.

There were guards laid out all around them. They were all moaning from the pain of being knocked hard. Zuko and Iroh were starting for the doorway, when Azula popped in.

"Thinking of leaving, Uncle and Zuzu?"

"Where'd you come from?" Zuko asked.

"Didn't you know? I have Zuko senses and umph." Azula was hit.

"Get out of my way little girl." The Boulder said.

"You can't just push me. Don't you know who I am?" Azula snorted.

"Does it matter?" the Boulder said and earthbended her into the ground.

"Hey, get back here and fight fairly!" Azula screamed.

"Like you fight fair." Zuko said, and they left the room.

Later that night, they all were in a small village pub, cheering over their first time as a team. They were all laughing and singing happily. The group had all done their jobs correctly; Sokka, Haru and Jet were the distraction, Aang and Katara were back up, Bumi and the Boulder helped get Zuko into the prison. The only damage that happened was that Sokka ran into a pole, several times. His nose was broken but it was easily taken cared of.

Sokka stood on a table to speak, "Evening to all of you. Besides my accident with the pole, we did our first job as a team. The next four days, we have to get ourselves to play this new sport of," he paused to look at the name of the sport, "Am-er Can football. What an odd name for a sport? But anyways, we have to learn how to play it and win a tournament. I don't know how this tournament will work, but I hope to find out soon, even if it has to hit me in the head."

At that moment, XYZ came running in and tripped, making Sokka fall. A football hit him on the head. Katara jumped up to help. Jet and Zuko were laughing at Sokka.

"Sorry Homie, I didn't mean to bust ya into the ground." The Blackman said.

"That's okay. I'm already in pain." Sokka squeaked out.

"Anywho brother, I came here to explain the tournament to all of you. There will be about seven other teams and they want to win, for they all lost something. We will be going over different dimensions to play against these teams. You'll be playing the Uruk Hai, the Crazy Avatar Fans, these kids from a crazy world led by a loser named Harry Potter, the Munchkins from my favorite old movie, a spongy team, a bunch of fairies, and the World Champions Pittsburgh Steelers. So start training, and I'll get you all to your next game against the Crazy Avatar Fans. Later bros." XYZ said, and left.

"Anyone understand him?" Haru asked.

"No." everyone said.

The next day the training began. Iroh got them running and exercing, like how XYZ said to get them started. They had to learn offence and defense. To as much involment Katara wanted to be in, she didn't like her first job.

"Katara, I want you to hold this ball, and they have to tackle you." Iroh said, not liking XYZ's advice.

Sokka smiled, when he looked at Katara standing there, with the ball. Iroh blew his new whistle, and they both ran at each other. Katara easily knocked him over without bending. She did that to most of the others, until the Boulder stepped up.

"No way. I'm not standing here and wait for him to tackle me."

"It's okay Sister. We can have the big guy tackle the other big guy." XYZ said.

Katara didn't like being called Sister

The days went quickly, and XYZ brought them new clothing. There were baseball caps, and jerseys for them to wear. They were close to what XYZ was wearing.

"Here's some bling for my brother Sokka." XYZ said, handing him a necklace with a big S on it.

"Um thanks." Sokka said, not understanding why he had to wear this.

"No way." Katara said, "I'm not wearing any of that."

"Suit yourself." XYZ said, "But everyone's wearing them, even those wizard geeks."

"No thanks." Katara said, not liking anything.

After getting 'pimped out,' XYZ got them ready to go to the Crazy Avatar Fans world, San Diego, California.


	6. Are you ready for some football?

**Sorry again for taking forever. I don't own any of the characters nor the crazy fans, but XYZ and the fairies.**

San Diego was filled with lots of crazy Avatar fans. They were all afraid of being there. Sokka said that they should hide for a bit and wait. XYZ said a limo would come and get them.

"Good, those people are crazy." Zuko said.

XYZ laughed, "That's why they're called Crazy Avatar fans. You all have to be careful; they'll chew you up."

They all wondered why they could be chewed up by fans.

When they got to the place they were going to play, a crowd of fans stood around yelling. Many of them had laptops to write stories about the upcoming game.

"ZUTATA!!" they were screaming.

"What the hell is a Zutara?" Zuko asked.

Katara shook her head, not knowing and a fan answered him.

"That's when you two go out on a date and fall in love with each other."

Zuko and Katara looked at each other.

"That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. We hate each others guts." Zuko spat.

Katara nodded.

"So it's a Kataang?" one asked.

"Maybe." Katara said, "But he's too young for me."

Aang pouted, "Am not."

"Alright, let's get re-" Jet said.

"JET!"

"We're doomed!" Haru cried.

"No, we can't lose to a bunch of screaming fans." Sokka yelled.

The game didn't even get to start. The Fans had already passed out from screaming and yelling. Even Foamy was there to cheer. Team Avatar got through their first game without playing.

"Hm, well you knocked them out of the tournament. You get to play the sponge team." XYZ said looking at the field of passed out loonies.

"Sponges? Like sea sponges?" Sokka was afraid to ask this.

"No. Don't any of you watch TV?" XYZ blurted quickly.

"No." they all looked at him with confused looks.

"Oh, okay then. I hope you all can breathe underwater." XYZ said, getting the next trip ready.

Their next game took them to Bikini Bottom. XYZ handed them all helmets.

"These helmets give enough oxygen for one game. We can't go into any overtime, got it Sokka?"

Sokka sighed.

"Hey, I can't swim." Haru spoke up.

"And your point? Put your helmet on."

Katara sat in the small two man sub they took down. XYZ didn't say that they were going to be stuffed in it before a game.

"Where are these guys?" Zuko asked, not liking being underwater.

"Here they come." XYZ said.

"Where?"

"Hahahaha, Patrick."

"The Boulder does not want to play a game of American Football against something he uses in a bath to rub his feet." The Boulder crossed his arms.

"Ready for football?" the sponge yelled.

"I love these guys." XYZ said laughing.

"I'm going to get this game over with." Zuko said, attempting to run and float upwards with a flameless kick.

"Zuko we're under water."

Zuko swam down, wanting revenge for being underwater.

"Katara I hate you."

"I hate you too." She was a bit more sarcastic.

A little match happened, but it didn't do well for Sponge Bob and his team. The Boulder smashed the team with on one play.

"I'm really starting to think that we will just beat everyone up easily." Sokka said.

"The Boulder wants a real match."

"Fine, I'll find a better team to play against." XYZ said.

The team sat down on dry land, and waited. They waited some more. They waited then Zuko jumped up.

"Aw come on! We've been sitting here, not talking, not practicing and I'm going mad."

Katara laughed, "Zuko, you're already mad."

Jet got out his deck of cards, "Earth Kingdom poker anyone?"

A chorus of 'yes' sang out. Then right as they got ready to play, XYZ came back.

"Alright, we play fairies next." He said.

"They better play a good game. We're all wondering what kind of joke we were brought into." Aang said.

A day later they were sitting at halftime, wondering what had happened. The score was 40 to 0 and they needed to catch up fast.

"The Boulder does not like being beaten by a bunch of fairies."

"Hee hee, snort, I love it." Bumi said, laughing his head off.

Sokka sat there, thinking on how to beat a magic using team. Their bending didn't work. Magic always countered it.

"Hey Iroh, do you know how we can stop these pixies?"

"I got some rock candy." Bumi laughed.

"Peep, peep, peep." The fairies looked at Bumi.

"Fairies like rock candy, but the sugar alcohol makes them slow. Hee hee."

The game started, but the referees had to give the victory to Aang's team. The fairies were all laying around, drunk from the candy.

"Wow, I'm never eating rock candy again." Jet said. Haru nodded.

"We now know that we stink at this game. What other bright ideas will we have to come up with?" Zuko asked.

Katara sat behind them, trying not to laugh. She knew what they could do, but wasn't going to say anything.

They took a bus to the next game. Unluckily, their game was against a professional football team.

"There is a change of teams. I guess since the author takes too long to write, that the Steelers are no longer champs and we are now playing the Colts."

"Like that matters. We're going to lose, without bending." Haru said.

"Haru, you're sitting out. Katara, you're playing wide receiver." Sokka yelled.

Katara finally jumped up and said, "It's about time."

They continued to take to bus to downtown San Diego, where the Crazy Avatar fans followed.


	7. Oh boy, the Colts

**I don't own the Colts or Avatar. I don't own the fans, because they are needed to be Avatar fans.**

When they stopped, they saw a large stadium. It wasn't like any they've seen.

"We're playing there?" Sokka asked.

"Yeah. San Diego let us borrow their field." XYZ said.

"The Boulder is letting everyone know that the fans have followed."

"Oh yeah, the Crazy Avatar fans have decided to be our cheerleaders and devoted fans." XYZ said, knowing everyone didn't like the fan-ish behavior.

Zuko looked at them, "I don't care if they follow. I just don't want to see their disturbing artwork. How could people draw Katara and me kissing and doing other nasty stuff? I decided to attack them in Ba Sing Se for a reason."

"Yeah, I won't get over that too." Katara said, glaring.

"I agree." Iroh said, "But at least you got me out of that cage. Ty Lee wouldn't stop talking about a warrior from the Water Tribes."

As they entered, the Colts were already warming up. They had just their jerseys. Team Avatar was amazed at their skill.

"Yep, we're going to lose." Haru said again.

Zuko rolled his eyes, looked at Jet, and tied Haru to a seat inside the bus.

"Here, this is for being a dumbass." Jet said, rolling a sock and stuffing it into Haru's mouth.

Sokka got his team together, "Okay guys, I have a feeling at we won't be counting on luck; although it would be nice. Katara, you're taking Haru's spot as wide and safety. If you screw up, I'll have to kill you."

"Fine." She said.

"Okay, Team Avatar on three."

"One, two, three." They all said, down-hearted.

"Oh come on guys, we can win." Sokka complained.

"Yeah, with you can bend all four elements." Zuko said.

Sokka took his spot as quarterback; Aang was running back; Jet and Katara took receiver; while Zuko, Bumi and the Boulder took the front line. Sokka hiked the ball, giving it to Aang, but the Colts defense blitzed them.

"Ouch, that looked like it hurts." XYZ said, "Hey Cato, take it easy on the boy."

"Yeah, screw you. Someone took Harrison, so we're going to win to get him back."

"Geez, nice guy." XYZ said.

Sokka hiked again, and passed it towards Jet. Colts' safety, Sanders knocked it out of the path.

"Sokka, I was open." Katara yelled.

"Sorry."

The next play, Sokka threw it towards Aang. He airbended up and caught it, only to be close-lined by June after coming down. The ball popped out, and picked up by the Colts. Katara cursed Sokka's name. She, again, was open.

Colts' quarterback, Manning, hiked the ball. He found Wayne open and gained ten yards. The Colts continued down the small field, scoring seven.

Team Avatar couldn't move the ball, but their defense stopped the Colts' offence. With ten-seconds left in the game, the Colts had the ball. They were looking to close the game.

"The Boulder is going to break your neck." He said to Manning.

Manning looked at the Boulder, hoping his line would hold. Manning hiked the ball and look to his running back. The Boulder passes through the line, then close-lines Manning causing a fumble. Zuko jumps on the ball. He goes down, not responding to anyone.

"Hey, I think you broke his neck." Sokka said.

"I think you did break his neck." Wayne said, coming over.

"Ha, the Boulder broke your neck."

Someone came in to take Manning's spot.

Sokka lined up, looking at the Colts' defense. They were going to blitz. Sokka changed the play, getting into the shotgun position.

"Hike," Sokka yelled, looking at Jet, then at Aang. Neither were open and he wished that Haru was playing. But he lobbed the ball at the open Katara. She looked above her, seeing that he threw it.

"Catch it." Sokka mumbled, but turned away seeing the ball starting to overpass her.

Katara jumped and with one hand, caught it falling into the end zone. Sokka fainted. The crazy fan went wild.

XYZ jumped, "That'a girl!"

Sokka got up again and ran to get two more points to win.

"Okay, we need you Aang to jump up and over the line for two. There's only one second left and if you miss, then we lose." Sokka said.

"I got it." Aang said.

Sokka sighed.

They lined up; Sokka hiked the ball and gave it to Aang. The Avatar disappeared under the line before he had a chance to jump. XYZ and Iroh stood and the crazy fans were dead silent.

"Poor Aang." The fans called.

The referee ran over, to see if Aang got in. Then the ref's arms go straight into the air.

"We win!" XYZ yelled.

The Colts start heading for the locker room, while Katara fixes Manning's neck.

"Sorry about that." Katara said.

"It's fine. I knew that could happen in street football. Thanks." Manning said, tossing her a clean away jersey.

"Thanks." Katara said.

"I need my neck for tonight's game against San Diego. I'll get another anyways." He said, and then turned to follow his team.

"Alright champs, that's how you play a game. We have a short break before playing the Uruk Hai. Eat, and be back at the bus in an hour." XYZ said, "Hey Sister, sweet catch. I see you have a new jersey."

Katara shrugged, "I fixed his neck."

"Sweet." XYZ said, and then left to get on the bus.

**I can't kill Manning people. Sorry, he's one of my favorite QB's. That and he wouldn't like that idea.**

Go Dolphins!


	8. Montana, here we come

**I don't own Uruk Hai, Avatar or even anyone but XYZ.**

The bus left and turned toward the northwest. Team Avatar was going to play the Uruk Hai in Montana. XYZ explained that it was going to be a long trip and that they should all sleep. Sokka agreed and didn't take long to fall asleep.

Jet, Zuko, Iroh, and the Boulder started a game of Tag-team Pai Cho. Aang fell asleep soon after Sokka and Katara watched the landscape change from the sunny beaches to prairies of nothing but grass and sage brush. But on every long trip, something goes wrong, and the bus had a flat tire.

"Gee, aren't we in the middle of nowhere." XYZ said. He got out to fix the tire, and woke Aang to fill it with air.

"There are wire fences everywhere." Aang said, then turning and seeing a large animal staring at him.

"Ahh!" he yelled.

"That's just a cow." XYZ said.

"It's not a pig-cow?"

"What? Are you crazy?"

Aang shook his head, "It's large."

"And it will taste good."

"I don't eat meat."

XYZ frowned, "You don't eat meat? Well that explains why you ordered a meatless salad at a steak house."

"Why are we playing here in Montana and not in San Diego?"

"Because the Uruk Hai like playing in grass, and the author decided to put us here."

"Who's the author?" Aang asked.

XYZ ignored him. He looked at the cow again.

"Moo." The cow said.

"Moo back to you." Aang said.

Meanwhile, Sokka heard the 'moo.'

"Moo means one thing." his mouth started to water, "FOOD!"

"Sokka, you're drooling on me."

"Sorry Katara."

He ran out of the bus, looked at the cow.

"Thank the Moon spirit and the Ocean too. I have in front of me, a cow. And with this cow, I shall feast and be happy." Sokka said, looking at the cow, "But you have big brown eyes. Cute adorable eyes. How can I eat you now? Never mind, my stomach says otherwise. You're dinner."

"Done with the tire." Aang sang out.

"Sokka, don't eat the cow. People get angry if you take their cows." XYZ said.

"B-b-but,"

A bang rang out.

"That sounds like a gun. Hurry and get in the bus." XYZ yelled.

He looked at Sokka, but he was already in the bus as well as Aang.

"Damn they're fast."

"Here we are guys, Butte Montana." XYZ said.

Everyone laughed.

"It say's 'butt.'" Zuko laughed.

"It must be 'Butte' ugly." Jet said.

"The Boulder does not want to be in Montana's 'Butte.'"

XYZ wanted to laugh, but he had to stop these crazy people from saying that outside of the bus.

"Okay guys, the locals here don't like those jokes."

"Who shoved you up Montana's 'Butte?'" Sokka said.

They continued to laugh and giggle until Iroh stood up.

"We must respect this place. Stop with the jokes."

"Fine." Everyone said.

They stopped at the local high school and Team Avatar was surprised.

"Where's the team?" Zuko said, "I bet they're scarred."

Then an ugly language was spoken and the team looked at the Uruk Hai.

"Holy Agni!" Zuko said, jumping into someone's arms.

"Hey." Zuko was dropped and he looked up to an angry Katara.

"I didn't jump in fear." Zuko said, walking away from her.

"The Boulder has decided that he needs to change his underwear."

Everyone looked at him.

"Eww." They cried out.

When the game started, Sokka feared for his life. There were tall, ugly things in front of him and they looked like him after seeing the cow. Even the Crazy Avatar Fans were hiding.

"Hey Merry, why did those big orcish things stop?"

"I don't know, but we took quite a detour to going to Isengard."

"That boy has a blue arrow on his head, how odd."

"Pippin, we should take this chance to escape. I can't stand that drink."

"Sounds good to me; I hope Frodo and Sam are alright."

"Shut up and crawl."

The game started with Haru dropping the ball in fear. Sokka threw a fit, which made Zuko wonder about his anger problem.

Team Avatar wasn't doing well on defense either. Bumi and the Boulder were being pushed over easily like Sokka was in a fight with Zuko. Jet was the only one doing anything. He scored a touchdown from an interception.

"Time out." Iroh yelled, "Are you all a bunch of push-overs or what? It's the last quarter and it's 21 to 0."

"They're big." Haru complained, with a fake broken arm to help him.

"Sissy." Jet sneezed.

Iroh slapped his forehead, "How many of you want to quit?"

Most of them raised their hands.

"Well that stinks. Get back into the game. We don't quit." Iroh yelled, "Haru, sit down. Katara take his spot."

Katara ran out there, and pushed Sokka to the side, "I'm quarterback."

"What, but you'll throw like a girl."

"I'll do better than you have." Katara said, sarcastically, "Jet and Aang, take the receiver spots, and Zuko take the running back. We're going to have a comeback."

She took Sokka's hat and put it on backwards. Manning's jersey was a bit too big, but she didn't care, and was ready to do the impossible; get three touchdowns in two minutes.

**Cliffhanger, ha ha ha!**


	9. Can we have Toph back, please?

Katara handed the ball to Zuko, and then ran in front of him. She and the receivers were going to block the Uruk Hai and hoped that Zuko can run. He spanned around one, jumped over another and dove into the endzone. Two more to go.

Iroh had forgotten about Jet's score and he hoped the lie helped them realize that they needed to keep scoring points.

On defense, they stopped the Uruks but they had only a minute left. Katara gave the ball to Zuko again, and got into the endzone, but not with receiving a broken knee.

"Haru, get in there." Iroh sighed.

Haru didn't want to play after seeing Zuko crunch under the giants.

Again their defense stopped the Uruks. They only had enough time for one play, and Sokka begged to be quarterback. Katara agreed, but hoped that he wouldn't pass to the wrong team.

Sokka hiked the ball, and threw it to Aang, but an Uruk grabbed it. He started running towards the endzone, but didn't see the Boulder hit him in the stomach. The ball fell out and Jet picked it up. They didn't want overtime, they wanted the win. Jet was going to win the game for them, and he ran to the endzone. He was tripped, and dropped the ball, but somehow Haru was there and brought it in.

"Call me a sissy again, and I'll have to kill you." Haru said.

"Yeah right, you wouldn't be able to hit me." Jet said.

"I know." Haru cried.

"Nice pass Sokka." Iroh said.

"What? Aang's short."

XYZ came from nowhere, "Nice win, but there was too much drama."

"Sorry." The team said.

"Hey Zuks, you're not supposed to break you're legs." XYZ said.

"Hey, don't call me Zuks." Zuko winced in pain.

"I'll fix it." Katara said.

"Hey, where's the Halflings?" the Uruk Hai yelled.

"Great, now we're all going to die."

"Here come the horsemen. Kill them."

Team Avatar got on the bus, when XYZ's cell phone rang.

"What? They already got what they needed. Okay, later." XYZ talked, and then turned towards the team, "The munchkins already got what they needed. Some girl named Dorothy helped them."

Team Avatar was surprised and relieved.

"We're taking a plane ride to London. It'll be long."

"What do you mean I can't take my boomerang and club?"

"Mr. Sokka, TSA and Homeland Security rules say you can't take your weapons."

"Why?"

"Because they're weapons."

"I hate airports." Sokka said, handing over his boomerang and club.

"Sorry Sokka." Katara said, giving him a hug.

"Sorry man. I should'a told you." XYZ said.

"Great and now, I'm on their 'No-fly' list." Sokka complained, "And I'm not a terrorist!"

"We can take a boat. I forgot that we needed passports anyways." XYZ hoped that Sokka would be alright.

"I don't like boats." Sokka complained some more.

"Okay, first of all, you like boats Sokka," Katara started, "And we have one more game to play then we get Toph back."

"Fine."

"That was quick."

"I know. I just needed to pout some."

A phone call and a week later, they arrived in London. It poured.

"The Boulder does not like London. It makes my earthbending harder to do."

Katara sat down, listening to the rain.

"Katara, you'll get sick." Zuko said.

"No I won't."

"My nos isa suffet." Katara complained after getting to the train station.

"I told you." Zuko said.

"I did't thunk it woult happen. I do't get sik fom cold weathah. I live in te Sot Pole. Achuu!"

"You haven't been there for months"

"Someone put a sock in her mouth. I don't want the cold." Jet said.

"Rock candy will help it." Bumi laughed.

"But it mates te fairies dunk." Katara said.

"That's the point." Bumi laughed.

"Zuko, coult you heed te blankt? Pleese?"

Zuko growled, "No."

"Pleese? I matet youa leg bedder."

"No, the train will warm you up." Zuko said.

"Where is the train?" Aang asked.

"Follow me." XY said running into the post.

"Dude, that's some freaky shit." Jet said.

The Boulder said, "The Boulder does not want to run into a wall."

After some talking to, they all went into the post but Sokka. He was the last one and ran at it.

"OW! I think I missed the hole." Sokka said after running into solid brick.

He tried again, making it.

"Did you hit the wrong side?" Aang asked.

"I think I did. I didn't know that there was only one way in."

They boarded the train and they all took a nap.

**Author Note: If you are a huge Harry Potter fan, I advise you to not read until the next Author's note, because of big making fun of it and I love Hobbits more than wizards with twigs. You have been warned.**

Soon, XYZ woke them up.

"We're here and I'm warning you all. They use magic. Oh, and the author doesn't know about any of these people."

"That's wonderful." Sokka said, with added sarcasm.

"Yay, and we get to bend." Zuko smiled.

"Welcome to Hogwarts." A strange old man said.

"Hi." XYZ said.

"You must be the other muggle team."

"Ah, sure."

"Come, I'll show you the field. We had to change it into an American football field."

"Hey, there are kids on brooms." Jet said.

"And they can fly. Great, another flying team." Sokka complained.

"Sokka, you do complain a lot." Jet said.

"I'm the complaining character besides Katara."

"I do't complain." She said.

"You're right. You must be siblings." Jet joked.

"Takeofficus intoskyicus."

"The Boulder doesn't understand."

"We're practicing, oh my wicked God!" the boy looked up at the Boulder.

"The Boulder thinks you're red hair is ugly."

"B-b-b-b." the boy was speechless.

"Ron, he's just a giant muggle. He can't hurt you."

"The Boulder does not like the little boy's talk. The Boulder will not crush little boy into muggle."

"Boulder, don't kill the boy."

The game started. The wizards flew into the air. Zuko was given the ball and ran.

"Makecus intostoneicus." One said.

"The Boulder sees that his teammate's feet are stone. The Boulder will move Fire Boy."

"Just move me before they make me all stone." Zuko yelled.

Aang jumped into the air and let a blast of air out towards the scarred one, blowing him and his broom out of bounds. Zuko was earthbended to the endzone for a touchdown. His feet became normal again.

The wizards passed the ball, and Zuko went to stop them by burning their brooms.

"Turnicus Flameus intous hydro."

"Nooooo, I'm not a waterbender!" Zuko complained after seeing the fire turn into water.

The Boulder and Bumi earthbended a wall, before the blonde haired boy saw it. He crashed.

"Owicus, I am deadium." He said, after hitting the wall.

"I wantium snakeicus."

The referee threw a flag, "Too many players on the field, number zero of the Wizard team."

"Ron, that's the tenth time you've done that."

"Sorry, my wand is broken and that spell is the only working one."

"Muggle."

After the free yardage, Team Avatar got the ball back. Aang airbended himself upwards, only to have them bring him down with magic. The Crazy Avatar Fans had a fight with the Crazy Harry Potter Fans, and the game was going crazy. At the end of the game, it was a tie.

"Team Avatar, since you are the away team, you can have the ball first." The referee said.

"The Boulder is going to tear down this place."

"You're an idiot." The blond kid said.

"The Boulder will k-i-l-l you!"

"Try me."

Sokka passed the ball to Aang. Aang jumped over the wizards, but the wizards followed like falcons on a running rabbit. The Boulder, with help from a now firebending Zuko, made a wall of rock and fire on top. Aang got over before hand, as wizards splatted on the wall. None move for weeks.

**Author's Note: Okay, you can start reading again.**

"We win! Where's Toph?!" they all yelled.

XYZ lead them to where the missing people where. There was someone sitting in a throne in the Hogwarts' Castle.

"Well, good job Team Avatar. You're missing person will come out soon." The person said.

"Are you using a voice changer?" XYZ asked.

"Of course I am. Without it, I wouldn't have any mystery to myself. I will now step down to congratulate you all." And then the person stepped down.

"Toph?"

"Haaaaaaa! I tricked you guys! That was just another training mission for Aang. HAAAA!"

"The Boulder is now pissed."

"Zuko is too." Zuko said.

"I knew it!" Bumi said.

"It was another one of your sick jokes. Sokka is mad too."

Aang looked at Toph, "Wow that was a good one."

"And what did you learn?"

"That I need to pick smarter people to work with."

"Okay, somewhat of an answer I was looking for. I wanted you to learn how to use other versions of earthbending than what I teach you. Everyone else was that different version, but I didn't expect you to get Flameboy or an idiot from the Earth Rumble." Toph said, "Oh, and it was fun to watch you all fight with everyone. It made my day watching you handle the fairies. Bumi, that's for going along with the joke."

"Hee, hee, snort, It was fun messing with them. We should do it again sometime."

XYZ cleaned the paint from his face, "Hey, thanks for not introducing me."

"Sorry Suki. I forgot." Toph said.

Team Avatar fainted then woke up to being back in their own world. They all took the separate ways.

Jet went back to his little world, only to be killed again.

"Oh my God, they killed Jet!" Smellerbee yelled.

"You bastards!" Pipsqueak said.

Zuko went back to the Fire Nation to help Azula with her problems.

Bumi got back into the iron cage in Omashu.

Haru followed.

The gang went back to their camp by the beach, finished the soup and started to plan for invading the Fire Nation. The hoped to never play American football again.

Iroh stayed with the Avatar and his friends, hoping to hit his nephew for betraying him again. Life was simple again.

"Anyone for soccer?"

"Toph, shut up!"

**I'm done. I hope I didn't ruin Harry Potter too bad. I haven't bothered to read it, nor will I ever. I've only seen the first few movies and as the saying goes 'the book is always better than the movie.' But I did it for laughs, so laugh. Thank you.**


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